| I know its been awhile |
[02 Mar 2009|08:00pm] |
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but this was the only place i could turn to in order to jot down my feelings and still have who i dont want to hear them be seen. so anyways i dont know if i have a hard time trusting my boyfriend because i have been hurt so many times or what. but today when he decided that he didnt want to hang out i got worried, and what sucks is what always comes to my mind is being cheated on. what is hte reason you wouldnt want me to come over. i know you say homework. but is that all. cause homework does not take that long. but who knows maybe he will have a change of heart later and want to see me. and maybe im just fucked up in the head. but i worrie because i have never met somone who was so ME. and i want to do everything in my power to not screw it up. and i have done that. but at the same time i remember tellinbg myself that i wouldnt date someone my age or yonger again because of what could potentially happen. i dont want someone to lose intrest in me because of some other faggot. because i think with a connection like this to cheat and for me to find out.. CAUSE LET ME TELL YOU.. im clever. Kat knows.. and i always tend to find shit out. but would it be worth it for a lousy lay and then to loose someone that you have actual chemistry with. i dont know. its all so hard.. ugh getting all of this out was so easy espically with nattie helping me. i needed a lodgical source to tell me im crazy,, anyways
thanks for your time
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| wow |
[03 Dec 2005|10:44pm] |
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i havnt read this since oz and i am listing to a song thats kinda sad and im reading these comments from people that acually read this and i feel soo good becuase people acually care wowo how fancy i love all you people who acually read this
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| live journal WHOd of thought |
[20 May 2005|10:38am] |
ok so for the past three weeks i have been not home. i spend a week in a mental hospital. and i am on my last week at oz. when i get out i am moving back to my parrents house. it really sucks because we went to cyber y to do our friday project and we were told that we were able to go on the computers after our project.. well you cant go on myspace.....WTF i havnt been home since may 3rd so i have all theses messages that really are in need of my checking.. but whatever... im rather excited to move back to my parrents house. never again will i go to live with my gramma the woman drives me up the wall.. but i might finish out hte year at granite so that will be fun.. next year i am eaither going to go to gra nite or i am going to go to grossmont college and take junior college and highschool classes.. that really does sound like fun.. i am amazed that i was abe to get onto my live journal i havnt used it in forever but when there is no way to get onto myspace livejournal is the best bet thats for sure..... im pretty sure that nooone is going to read this so its ok ... but my life has been pretty shitty latley.. please im in freaking OZ its hiddious i feel like a bum.... oh and also i spent that week at mesa vista mental hospital.. that was a real fun experiance.. so i guess the moral of my blabber is that i am really bored and it dosnt pay to be crazy... they put me on medication but it makes me feel really wierd so i dont like that,, so i kinda stopped taking it it dosnt really do anything for me i swear.. i really miss y life and all my friends i cant wait to go back to crest and move into my NEW HOUSE yayayayayyayy its rather large it frightens me slightly... but yeah i am kinda upset my new delema is the same as all my old delemas i am single its like i am looking for love in all the wrong place.. why does everyone have to be a whore it makes me rather sad.. but i will have to get over it thats for sure becuase maybe one day i will find someone and then my life will be much better..... cant you tell i am really bored.. YEAH THATS BECAUSE I AM.. i checked my voicemail yesterday i had 27 messages from people saying chris where are you did you die i think you might be dead im worried abouit you.... and it made me feel special but now there are none.. but yeah for the few people that might read this i am really sorry for you because i am really bored and i am going on in a random way about everything... thats what happens to you when you dont get to make contact with the outside world for 3 weeks... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ITS HORRIBLe
WELL HAVE TO GO MOOCHO LOVE TO ALL
Chris Rojas
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[05 Mar 2005|07:54pm] |
wow livejournal.. who would have known that i still had this thing.. i know that noone really reads it anywyas but whatever... my life hass been pretty good .. i have all a's and b;s and i still hate school but you know what i have to do it and i might as well do it well.. i hate guys. im still ona mission to find that right one. im not sure if i am ever going to find himt hough.. i know hes out there somewhere but i dont know where..... i have been using myspace allot. megan made me an account and i just started usin git at first it was really hard to use but it got easy and not its like nothing... but yeah i really am bored.. i got the hottest car ever made and i am really happy exacpe for the pasrt that i dot know wher emy prince is ..
but one day ill find himm
I HOPE
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| day 2 |
[02 Jan 2005|02:40am] |
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Because you live- Jessie Mcartney |
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so today is the sceond day of the new year. its really wierd though because like hte day hasnt officaly started i am just crazy and i hate sleeping. its about 241 am and i am not even tired i hate sleeping its i will sleep eventually and hten i will get up eventually. but untill the time i get tired i am going to sit here and bore all you people who even read my LJ. the hot wigger boy is comming over to my house tomarrow. like he is really hot but there is a problem..... he is really srtaight and it makes me sad. but everytime we hang out he gets a little gayer and hopefully someday he will be gay and have hot sex with me.... or not.....i wouldnt go for that. just becuase he is hot and we have stuff in commin dosnt mean that i would just have sex with him. like it has to mean somthing maube if he ever turns gay we will relate on so many levels that he would end up being perfect. but i doubt it hello he is straight thats is sooo nothign in commin with me girls eww boys yay.. so thats means that i am still on my never ending journey to find someone that knows how i feel and will be there to love me and comfort me . not treat me like shit. hello people ITS NOT ALL ABOUT SEX. but yeah im sure someone who i will is perfect for me is out there and one day i will find him..ok so on a new note today i figured out how to turn off a playstation it made me so happy. someoen had to tel me though but i can do it now thanks greg. im not sure why i even have a playstation i am never going to use it but hey it looks wierd i think ill keep it. oh i rememberd why i have it.. becuase i want to play DDR. now i can just order my metal pads for 1000 dollors each or somthing like that. it will be fun i will for reals be hte dancing QUEEN.
but for now i am going to lay down and rest my pretty head..
LOve to all
*kiss *
Chris
i am greatful for all the great people in my life who help me when im in need. and espically the ones who tell me that i am better than all the boys who break my heart. and for telling me that i can get through this..
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| wahoooo |
[01 Jan 2005|02:08pm] |
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soooo chriatmas was hreat i didnt like beign away from all my peeps though. but yeah it was fun. but can anyone guess what my favorite animal is......yes little boy in hte back " your favorite animal is a llama". that is soooo very correct. well for christmas i got a llama it makes me soo happy. but due to the influence on nepolian dinomite i had to name my llama tina. that movie wasnt the reason i wanted a llama i have had a love for llamas for the longest time. ut that movie gave me hte perfect name for hte llama. i cant type right now i am trying to use this new keyboad and its kinda difficult. but any ways i am home and i am happy be be back home my llama is sooo cute and yeah. i love the holidays they are great. and its now year 2005 wahoooooo. 2 months till my birthday. ok in my last post how i said that i hated mark well i dotn anymore because he called me and made peace with me so its all over. thats good to know i am not going to be close with him though after what he did it will take a long time now he is just a friend and not even a close friend but yeah. i think he wants to be my freind becuae i know the hott wigger boy that he is in love with. but the really funny thing is that the wigger is afraid of mark ha ha haha and he thinks i am the coolst thing in the world. imagine that someone thinks i am hte coolst thing in the world. ah ah ah ah ah ha haha too bad most peeple love me.. please who wouldnt J/K. but yeah so i am bored sitting in my room and i have nothibng to do today. someoen make plans with me to hang out (619) 339 3021 everyone is out of town god damnit but i have to go be productive now see ya
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| if i was black |
[08 Dec 2004|05:08pm] |
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True |
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if i was balck would that give me thie right to say loud and outburstic things like " hey nigga get ova hur" i dont think it would but i still wish i could be just a little black not soo much that you could acually tell but just enough to be all loud and what not and not get in trouble for it, everyone whould jsut say oh thats becuase chris has a little black in him.
ok but anyways i hate people ecpically people named mark... not matk george. whoa i havnt said that name in forever wierd... but anyways its a differnt mark. its funny how someone could be all oh chirs your my best friend and then the next day they hate you becuase you are black. not realy but the next day they hate you becuase of somthing you did to your fag hag.. EX FAG HAG must i say. this whole drama bullshit came about because i got a SPEEDING TICKET... who the fuck does that. but anyways tehy both got mad at me and now they hate me but you know what I DONT REALLY CARE.. because i hate dumb people that talk shit.. liek really if you want to talk shit about me DO IT TO MY FACE so i can drop your ass to the flor and bitch slap the shit out of you.
grrrr but t hat chapter of drama is over..
little shop auditons are next week i am sooooooooo scared. but it will be soooooo great.
i rule because i am cool that the number one rule in my life so i think i will do just fine..
well i am off to go get a milkshake, im really trying to get some boys to come to my yard. they alwyas show up when i am not here ha ha ha . but no really i just want a fucking milkshake
see ya
THe one the only
CHRISTOPHER ROJAS
PS its fucking freezing. i hate the cold if it wasnt for christmas sooo soon i would have killed people due to this harsh cold
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| i guess now i can use this thing again |
[18 Oct 2004|08:43pm] |
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jason maraz you and i |
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well its been along time since i acually posted anthing in this live journal but i think now that i am in a new enviroment and what not i think i will use this again. tomarrow is late start just like every tuesday late start means that i dont have to go to school untill 9:30 which is really nice, i really like being back in claremont it is allot of fun and i am back with all of my friends not saying that i didnt have friend sout in elcajon but i have allot more over here... i must comment to this... ok here i go ok so when mark and i were dating i was always being told that i am soo immature and this and that and oh i am soo 15, and then we break up and his next boyfrined breaks up with him.. so mark and jeff started dating around the same time that brett and i started dating again, and brett nad i have gone for that long with no problems what so ever, i just hink that its funny ... but maybe i really do act 15 but i havnt been told this by anyone at claremont not even the seniors...........not even the gay senior boy at my school tells me that i am sooo 15....... but whatever i just felt like saying somthing to that..... i have no fealings toward tat boy what so ever except for a cupple of minutes ago when danae said his name which made me think of that....
but anyways so my love life is going great i couldnt ask for anything better and i love being back in claremont. i am getting a new car for my birthday i decided that i didnt want the honda accord anymore so for my birthday i am getting a 2004 fully loaded leather heated seats everything ford explore wahooo now thats what i call a birthday present i am really excited.. and now i am going to go to sleep becausei am bored.
toodles
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| claremont high |
[01 Oct 2004|11:51am] |
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well guys i now go to claremont and i like it allot its allot better htan granite ever was and i am not here to be with some guy which makes me very happy and i like not going to that achool anymore becuase i was sick of going there and now i am here and happy with my friends from iddle school its sooo nice to be home again i am sooo happy this weekend i am goign to the movies with my friends and hten goign to the rollor coaster and then i am going to rent on sunday today i am going to go shopping with my friends and i am goin gto do nothing down here but get good grades and have lots of fun.. mission valley mall here i come
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| live journal can suck my balls |
[25 Aug 2004|10:51pm] |
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only hope- mandy moore |
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to everyone who will write things in there journals expecting me to read them (like leaving me a note) i dont read live journals and i havnt dor about 3 or 4 weeks, i have realized tha ti have no pourpose for this "live journal". it does me no good i dont like to express my feelings outloud... i have no need for this thing......... for all you people who dont really know me, i dont dwell on the past nor hold on to the past there is no reason to, i suggested what i wanted to suggest and now its over.. excitement comes over me, i held on because i felt i should hold on but if we can manage to be friends that would be nice.. i took a serious look at mark today and i have to say that i have no sexual desire for him at all, or desire in that matter.... it would be nice it we can remain friends
he has what he wants ... and i have what i want. its nice to have my heart back where its supposed to be with my one true love someone who dosnt make fun of mee when i do somthing stupid someone who telles me that i am perfect and woild never say anything to hurt me...
we have been dating on and off for the past 2 years..im sorry mark if i wasted yout time.....
and for whatever little things piss me off they will be soon over as a matter of fact i am already over them
its not that i still like him because thast not the case i personally think that we would make much better friends than boyfriends..
and minor miscomceptions or passing the blame makes me mad buti am not going to say anymore about it because it just causes anger and frustration which is not nessessary.
i do not act 15 about everything sure there are a cupple things that i might act 15 about and heyyy how old am i oh yeah 15 so i can act 15 if i want to...
i could say soo much more right now but it would just cause an arguement ... and i dont have the time or care to argue ...
s000
lets be friends
this is my last post for a while so i thought id make it count..
marks friends who dont like me tell me because personally i would rather not talk to people who dont like me...
dont worrie about hurting my feelings they dont get hurt eaisily i sometimes just act like things do when they really i could give a fuck less about it..
noone can bring me down and if you can give me an hour or 2 and ill be over it.....
worries worries wash away, show me light to guide my way, bring me hope to cary on,give me strength to keep on going never let my progress have a slowing, i dont need people to keep me strong my heart alone will never show me wrong.....
man the things i can make up from the top of my head...
i knew my spirtiual belief system would pay off... ha ha haha a hahaahhaah
Mark lets be friends... this is a peace treaty well not realy but it shows that i would like peace .... theres no need to argue over somthing that oncewas, but now is nothing
no flame at all not even a match to create a substitute flame...
i hope you enjoyed my post...
good bye,
to the boy that treates me right and has always been there for me in a time of need and weakness Thank You, i love you....
to anyone who has a problem or dosnt like me................. SUCK IT BITCH
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[16 Aug 2004|12:58pm] |
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like fuck ran over 7 times |
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jet- are you gonna be my girl |
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well after not seeing mark for a week i thought that hanging out with him woiuld have been fun and he would hav ebeen happy to see me but it didnt seem like it.. yesterday was the most reduiculous day of my life.. i really dont like to be treated like shit for no reason and i am not sure how much longer i can take it..i have never been in a realationship that was this dramatic and where i got treated like shit constantly.. yesterday i was sooooo close to saying you know what fuck this.. and call my mom and have her pick me up ..
but i didnt i want to see how much longer this will last i dont think that it will be that much longer... but i am just going to take things one day at a time.
la la la la la i am laying in bed i feel like shit today .
i havnt got out yet and i am still in bed ..
now i am going to close my computer and go back to sleep...
Blah
Chris
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| Home Finally |
[15 Aug 2004|12:09am] |
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so after a week or however long it was i am finally home, stayin gin claremont was fun but i wont miss it at all i cant wait untill school starts again, yet i do wish i was going to a private school this year but i will have to get over it ... i like that fact that i will be able to see everyone once school starts so its ok...... i am taking tap this year somplace in elcajon then next year i am taking it at APA wahoooo whos excited ME ME ME ME... i am soooooooooo glad to be home.. for anyone who has tryed to call me on my cell i wont answer it because its off and i left it at my grammas house so if you want to talk to me call my house phone..
ok goodnight to all
Chris
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[12 Aug 2004|09:47pm] |
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once apon a time in a land far far away there lived a happy llama, he was the happiest llama in the world, except for one thing...... He was gay and wished he was pink instead of black.. this llama searched all throughout hte land in search of a boy llama with the same hopes and feelinsa he had, he searched ad searched and searched until one day just as he was ready to give up on his search for a boy,, and while he was walking home in a glump he bumped into a llama who was also black and whished he was a differnt color it wasnt pink though but it was stilla nice color the color was purple the pink llama was immediatly in love with the purple llama from the moment he set eyes on him.... so they decded to run off together, while the were walking they passed a beautyshop which sold hair dyes, so both of hte llaas got to turn themselves thecolor they wanted to be... so there was a pinkllama and a purple llama.... and tey lived happy ever after
The End
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[12 Aug 2004|11:58am] |
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oh shit maybe i was jsut over reacting becasue mark got his braces off maybe that has to do with it... if it does ia m soooo sorry for being ba stupid boyfriend i lov eyou
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| Something feels wierd |
[12 Aug 2004|10:26am] |
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ok i am not sure what is going on but its makeing me sad.... yesterday i was all depressed because mark didnt call me all day at all. he hasnt called me int he mornign like he usually does, and he dosnt really talk to me all that much, well i dont know just he hasnt been talking to me as much as usually. and it has just made me sad latley, yeah it makes me so sad maybe i am just over reactng because i am sad i cant stay away from hom long becasue i get really sad and i think that i might be just over reacting, and plus hte whole rodell thing prbably mkaes me a little but jealous, im not sure.....
i dont even know what i am talking about i am just sad becasue marks hasn talked to me since tuesday night....
there is probably a whole thing that has happend and htats why he hasnt talked to me i hope soooo..
Mark i love you\
and along with everyone else
Chris
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| claremont |
[11 Aug 2004|11:02am] |
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well claremont is fun but i realize why i left, its allot of fun and spending time with my gramma has been great, leni is going to cut my hair which is a step in a wierd direction because i never let anyone do anything to my hair except the professionals or my mother which is someone who has gone to school for it so yeah.... but yeah i am excited though because this long hair isnt cutting it for me..last night sarah was out of controll she knocked over every trash can on the sreet while we were walking to gails house. it was so funny everytime i go here and have to walk with sarah she always has to move things arounf in people s yards i think tha its really funny but i just dotn want to get in trouble for it becuase it would not be a good idea....
well i am going to go get ready my family is going to go out on the boat today.
it should be an exciting day sarah isnt to jazzed about hte idea of going out on the boat, she is still in bed she wont ge up... i think she has a slight hang over.. but yeah... after the boat we are going to go met up with leni..
well i am going to make lie a rabbit and bounce... ha ha ha
Love to all
I Love you Mark
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| Look Out Here I Come..................... |
[10 Aug 2004|11:08am] |
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No Doubt - Running |
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To all my firneds in the san diego area.. i am coming to claremont today, which means that i will be able to see all of you hot women...... mmmm yeah you know it.. but yes my mother is taking me there today and i am going to be there untill friday i will be going to closing night so noone worrie....
my gramma snd i are going to go to closing night and then i am not sure wha ti am doing after that.......
well i have to get ready for claremont....
Love to all
Smooches
Christopher Rojas eww so next year i am going to use rojas instead of franklin... argh argh i hate that name franklin ROjas is so more hey i am fucking mexican and plus it just sounds better..
ok all done now love to all bye
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[08 Aug 2004|11:42pm] |
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John Michael Montgomery - Hold On To Me |
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Your score is 275
LEVEL 10 -- QUEEN STATUS
There is no more feminine than you. You're simply a woman trapped in a mans body. You've made the calls about getting 'the operation' and you go to sleep every night thinking how easier it would be to be a woman instead. Over 50% of your clothes in your closet are designed for women, and life just gets better and better the more level 10 people you hang out with.
ha ha ha ha i always knew i was a big fag ha ha ha ha oh well shit happens..
today was nothing but work and boringness i am going to hang out iwth danae tomarrow hopefully.... woooo hoooooooo i cant wait i have been so bored at home all alone doing nothing but work.. i have a blister on my hand and they are so dry at the moment and it makes me sad my dad says that men are supposed to have blisters i said fuck no they arnt and he laughed.. my mothe rinformed me that my grandfather is going to come up an dhelp with teh house and taht he could outwork me i nodded my head and said well mom most men can ha ha ha... she says tha ti am spoild yet i remind her that its her fault that i am spoild ha ha ha and on another thing she said that i shouldnt be such a complainer when i have to cary a fire hose becaus eits not that heavy yet i cant move it... ha ha ha
my mom almost beat up a woman at the gas station today i was laughing....
the lady pissed my mom off by almost running in to her and hten proceeded to giv eher a dirty look when she slmost hit us.. they yelled and hten she got out of hte car pregnate wanting to beat her ass.. he he i love my mommy
and no more bad pictures for me and mark well that my mom will see because if she finds anymore... she will beat marks ass then mine even while she is pregnate she said it herself she has no problem doing it... ha ha ha ha she is more of a man than i am she can move the fire hose ha ha ha
good night to all
i love hte worl and my boyfriend
muah muah
Chris
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| Baby Shower!!!!!! |
[07 Aug 2004|10:12pm] |
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well today was the baby shower, there were so many cute clothes but nothing poofy enough for me i still want to go and get somthing thats reallll poofy. victoria is going to be more of a princess than me, its ok i dont mind sharing the thrown with my sister.... so tomarrow we were supposed to take the boat out but no no no i have to stay home and drive the compactor which dosnt bother me because i like to drive heavy equipment its fun and i liek to run over things, i cant wait untill my house is built yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee i will be IN A home for christmas yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. i love llamas i dont know where that came from.... la la la la la la la i am crazy but yeah.... so today was very boring but yeah...
i am tired and i want to go hang out with people so call me and we can make plans he he he he wahoooo
619 339 3021
ok good night
love to all chris
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